So you have checked your anti virus program is running and up to date, your firewall is on and the machine is running like a dream.  You are ready to surf the net and if you are like me you check your emails first.  Gramps has sent you some photos and that whacky neighbour of yours has sent some hilarious stuff on getting old, where does she find them? and oh this is from a Nigerian princess, her family is being persecuted by the government and they need to leave the country fast but they have this 20 million dollar fortune that they cannot take with them, unless, you dear friend could put the money in your account and as a reward keep say 10 per cent for yourself.  Why thats 2 million dollars just for sending these poor people my bank account details, yeh right, the only money being exchanged is when all your money is siphoned off by them.  Believe it or not even though this scam has been around for years people in their thousands still fall for this or a version of it.

Another scam is an email from your bank with some message about checking your details, you click on a link and are taken to an exact mock up of the homepage you would expect to see when you log on to do online banking.  You are asked to enter your details and password and they drain your account of every penny.

Millions of people fall for this one each year even though the banks are forever saying that they will never email you for your details.

Unfortunately the unwary surfer is still at risk just by surfing, the criminals use various techniques to separate you from your hard earned cash and one of these is by placing a keylogger on your hard drive.  It is easy to do, you have probably come across adverts to download free stuff, screensavers, animated emoticons all sorts of widgets.  Well have you ever wondered why these things are free, wheres the catch?  Well the catch is that on some of these are included a nasty little virus whose job it is to record every keystroke you make and transmit the details to the criminals.  They then have access to your emails and even your bank account if you bank on line.  Running an antispyware program regularly will uncover these viruses and eliminate them.

Now I do not wish to sound like a kill joy and certainly it is not my intention to scare anyone from using the internet.  However there are things to look out for and things to avoid, it is just a case of being sensible and using common sense.  Microsoft send you security patches all the time to help you stay ahead of the criminals, make sure you are getting these and installing them,  you do not have to be paranoid but use the tools provided to keep you and your computer safe and if you are ever unsure about an email just delete it.

I will be doing follow up columns to this one soon but if you are unsure or need advice just skype me, my skype name is technocretin or send me an email to computerassistance@consultant .com.. 

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If you use windows xp as your operating system then you may have seen the blue screen of death.  Usually this appears when something is seriously wrong with your computer and it is your computers way of saying it is shutting down to protect itself from damage.

One of the things it will display is a STOP code, which in general will be a seqence of zeros and numbers and tells the engineer or microsoft what it is that is causing the problem, sometimes.

It may well be that once you are on this screen rebooting the computer just brings you back to the BSOD.  If this happens then my advice is do not touch anything and call an engineer or if you are lucky enough to live in and around Mayenne then call me.

Even if you get out of the BSOD on rebooting it still means there is a major problem and either you will eventually return to that screen or the whole operating system could be compromised and may need reinstalling.

Invariably the problem is due to a new piece of software, a new peripheral or as recently the case with a customer I saw on saturday, 3 particularly nasty viruses. which were dealt with and the problem cured.

This is why it is extremely important to make sure your anti virus is running and up to date, that your firewall is on and your windows updates are on and you are installing them when they are downloaded.  Also get a freebie antispyware and malware programme and run it often.

You may have experienced whilst using your computer a pop up window appearing and advising you that your computer was running out of memory.

This tends to happen when the computer is running more than one application or a memory hungry program.

So what exactly is this memory or RAM and what can you do to solve the problem. Your computer contains memory sticks or cards which provide the processor with an added bit of assistance when running programs whether it be an office program, a game or an accounts program. 

As programs and applications have got bigger and more sophisticated , and operating systems for that matter, so computers have had to have bigger and bigger memories.

My first PC in 1998 with windows 98 had 512 megabytes of memory, the XP machine which my wife uses has 1.5 gigabytes of memory or 3 times the memory of my original computer.  My 18 month old windows vista machine has 3 gigabytes of memory or 6 times more than my original computer and new computers and laptops now have 4 or more gigabytes of memory.

The simple fact is that to take the strain off the computers hard drive and central processing unit, you cannot have too much memory.  Of course there are limits to what you can put in your machine but for less than 12 euros for a gigabyte of memory, the difference it will make to your machine will amaze you.

It will run faster, more applications can be open at the same time without the pop up memory running out advise.

Not only that it is very easy to find out what memory you have and how much more you can add, and because computers are designed to be upgraded, adding the memory stick is easy too as long as you know what you are doing.

Adding extra memory is probably the easiest and most cost effective way of improving your computer.  If you are having problems running out of memory or you would just like a faster machine then contact me for more details and how much it might cost to have some more memory installed on your computer.

Do you want your own website, one that you can use for whatever you want.  Got a project that you want to share with the world or a hobby you share with like minded people.

Having your own website is so easy anyone can have one and I will set one up for you for a fraction of the price you would be charged by a dedicated website builder. 

Contact me, tell me what you want and then be amazed at how little it will cost.  Call me on 0243910383, or skype me on technocretin or email me at [email protected]

When we first started living in France, I was lucky enough to be able to buy a complete new system, on the basis that this was probably going to be the last computer we would have for a long time to come, I bought the best I could afford. 

We already had a printer and a digital camera so it was just a new tower and monitor that we needed.  This was in January, in February we had the most almighty storm, there was a huge flash of sparks and all the lights went out.

There had not been time to pull the plugs on all the electrical appliances and when we came to turn the computer on nothing happened, not only was the computer fried but so was the printer and the digital camera which had been left attached to the computer.

The new monitor strangely enough had survived.

Clearly the guarantee did not cover us so we made a claim on the home insurance, we also checked out both in supermarkets and on line, the cost of surge protectors.  Apart from the computer and monitor, scanner, printer, camera, speakers, neufbox, I also had an amplifier to plug in and I wanted them all protected.  The surge protector looks like a normal plug extension but has built in the ability to almost instantaneously switch off if it detects a surge in the current, whether it is caused by a storm or whatever.  The manufacturer also guarantees that if it fails it will reimburse you up to 400000 euros to replace your equipment.

I eventually bought one on line and I would strongly recommend either units by Belkin or APC.  Depending how many plugs there are you need to plug in, the prices vary between 20 and 30 euros. 

We have had several storms of late and I know my equipment is safe.

Did you know

If you are running Windows Vista, you can control your computer using your voice only  Go to all programmes, ease of access,  windows speech, this is so cool you just have to try it.

This is a new feature of my website and in it I hope to send up to date information about keeping your computer running properly and what to do if it all goes pear shaped.

In this my first blog I want to explain the importance of keeping your computer up to date.  Virtually all the hardware you have connected to or inside your machine has what is known as a driver to make the printer, graphics card etc work.  This is a small program that the manufacturer of the printer or whatever use to get the two machines talking to each other and permits the printer to print or the webcam to work or even the monitor to display.

Sometimes the program can get corrupted and that is when your printer starts going haywire, or any other peripheral stops working properly.  In most cases it is easy just to reinstall the drivers from the cd that came with the peripheral and this invariably solves the problem.  I prefer in these cases to check the manufacturers website to see if there is a more up to date driver available and if so download and install that instead.  Sometimes the newer driver contains extra content or enhanced content or fixes a bug that the manufacturer found out after issue of the product cd.

So if you start to have a problem with any of your peripherals, printers, cameras, graphics cards, try reinstalling the drivers first, always uninstall the old ones first, otherwise you may just corrupt the new ones as well.

As always if you are unsure of what to do, contact the shop if under a guarantee or the handbook or contact a qualified engineer.